Things...

The sick bug has hit again. This time it's head colds all around. Ick!

Hannah had it last week, next was Gabe and Abby, I started the funk yesterday and this morning DJ woke up conjested. OMG. It never ends! This is why I'd love to move somewhere WARM and TROPICAL. :) Although, I have been known to catch a cold in the middle of July...but anyway I digress.

We are obviously stuck in the house today, but that's ok. It's cold and blowing snow outdoors anyway. Brr!

After passing my final exam in my STNA class on Thursday, I've been more determined to find a job. I'm missing my tips. I didn't realize how accustomed I had become to having money in my pocket daily. I do I dare say I regret quitting the restaurant so soon? I don't know if I'd go that far. Friday I went to pick up my last check and felt very uncomfortable. Everyone was nice to my face, but I dunno... I felt odd. It could just be me, but at any rate, not having those daily tips in my pocket does sucketh! ;)

So, the goal this week is to find employment as a nurse aide! :) There is a place that is in the same town as where DJ works that pays really well and I'd love to get in there so I will be going Monday to put my resume in. My friend Carrie got a job at a place in about 15 mins away and is going to take me with her Monday to see if I can get in there too. It's good money too. More than the local places want to pay. Several dollars more per hour in fact.

My next step, once I find a new job is to look into nursing programs. I am just going to have to bite the bullet and start somewhere if I'm going to get my RN degree. I do want it. Bad. I plan on callign the local college on Monday as well, to see where I need to start. I have some pre-requ. classes done already... About a years worth I'd guess. Now let's pray they transfer!

I've been thinking a lot about how my weight was a prision. Fat walls all around me and now I feel naked and exposed. No more crutches. No more excuses. I can't hide anymore. I'm open and vulnerable and yet I'm finding such motivation to do the things I want to do. It is enabling me to push myself and to believe I can do it. Is fat really that powerful?

When I look back in my blog, I really believed that I was me at that weight. I didn't see what a prision I lived in. I even said, "I'm not a member of the fat girls club"... I don't use my weight as an excuse.... BUT I DID!!! It did stop me. It did hinder my life and my goals.

At 277 lbs. I would've never took the STNA class. Heck, I'd have never gotten the job at the restaruant! I'd still be sitting in this house, eating my way to an early death with no motivation to do anything else.

It is sad that I was so blinded by food and its temporary numbing effect. I wasted years of my life in that prision. Thank God I'm getting free!