A post of substance...

I've been vague... guarded...quiet.....

My marriage was over. Seriously. We had been struggling for years but hanging on, unhealthy and not fuctioning well....but hanging on out of habit, convienence, denial and some level of love. Things happened...things were still happening...and from July 10-August 10 everything came to the surface. Everything. It was the breaking moment. I found out things I never imagined went on right under my nose...and I confessed thing I had done.

He wanted us to stay together. I was done. I scared myself at how "done" I was. I wanted out... I checked out...I shut down. I threw myself into work and my kids and shut him out. Totally. I was so hurt I couldn't risk it again.

And so then, bam I break my arm.

It seemed so stupid and odd and pointless of an occurance...so painful. Little did I know God was putting His plan into action.

Long story short, oddly enough breaking my arm changed my life. It saved my marriage, made me quit smoking and got me back into church.

DJ was able to show me love and concern and it was real and honest and raw and came out in a way that I couldn't ignore. He held me, comforted me, cried with me...never left my side..He washed my hair, gave me my meds, fed me...took care of the house, the kids..the list goes on and on. When I broke my arm, he cried as he took me to the hospital b/c he couldn't stand to see me hurt. Suddenly, all the stupid meaningless crap that had divided us fell away and what was left? US.

So here we are.. I'm all bandaged up and it is taking time for my bones to heal, but as my arm heals so do our hearts.

Update

I came thru surgery fine... 1 plate and 11 screws...in the splint til Oct.15, then a clamp brace for a while above my elbow where the break was. Sigh.

Surgery...

The orthopaedic surgeon will be putting plates and screws in my arm on Tuesday...At least I'll know I'm on the road to recovery after that and that my arm will heal strong and straight....

Isn't it ironic how much the future is unknown?? It never crossed my mind that night that I'd be at the ER w a broken arm by 3 a.m...

You just never know...

Anyone from Idaho...

If you are from Idaho and visit this site, please me! Gotta question for you!

ambie799@yahoo.com

hmm...

I'm drugged. I'm bored. I can't do a darn thing. My house is a wreck, laundry is piled up, Abby went to school with her hair in her face bc no one would listen to me tell them to pull it up. I changed a poopy diaper one handed, without incident, I've watched 5 movies in 2 days, I took my first shower since Sunday w/ a garbage bag tied on my arm and still came out w/ a soaked splint/wrap, and have mastered opening a childproof medicine bottle using my left hand, and left thigh. It's only been 5 days.....lol.
The surgeon says I will need patience...he obviously doesn't know me!!
Isn't it crazy how one event can change the course of your life?? I was becoming so sure...so strong and making plans and then wham...in one moment it's all changed. Decisions are being made for me. I need help 24/7. I was so independent...now I'm needy.
Blah.

so...

The surgeon didn't do anything yesterday except tell me his plan. i will go back weekly for xrays to see how its healing on its own. He will dtermine if i need surgery in the next few weeks. The surgery he described scared me to death. Rods, pins, plates, a huge incision....the pins would stick out.... I'm in so much pain amd so scared. He said ppl my age don't break bones like this....Well, I did. He said 8 weeks before I can go back to work

X Rays

And for my next trick...

So I'm typing one handed w my left hand b/c i broke my arm. Sunday, i worked 14 hrs., then went to my sil's for chili, then finally got home aroumd midnight and crashed. Around 3 am Gabe woke up and dj put him in bed with us. A few mins later he rolled off the edge of the bed. Somehow in my exhausion I flipped out and had it in my mind that he was hurt. I flumg myself over to where hewas and off the side of the bed. When I did I somehow slammed myself into my treadmill, and the next thing i knew i was on the ground screaming in pain.
It's broken in a spiral fracture above my elbow. They just xrayed it and put it in a splint and i finally go today to the orthopaedic surgeon.They said i may surgery and pins but i really hope not!!! I'm off work w no pay too. :(
oy vey.