Back to School I Go!

I start Monday! Eek!

The Meet and Greet is this weekend too. Wow... Lot's of stuff going on!

Weight: 140-145 every. single. day. :)

I keep meaning to come here...

I keep meaning to come here and post but I never quite make it.

I log on to check emails and a couple message boards, a few blogs and then make a mental note to update mine...Before I know it, an hour as passed, and my mind is wondering what I need to get done around the house before kids start tearing it apart again, I have to go to work, or I need to make supper, help with homework or go to work.

Yeah, I've been working a lot. And paying off bills, and trying to figure out where we are headed. Not to mention, get myself back in school and keep my body whole and healthy, raise 3 kids, keep a husband, and get all this accomplished with in 24 hrs each and every day.

Work has been a roller coaster. Drama upon drama. And then the whole... "we have so many hours available"... then the next day... "we are laying off"... then the next day, "we're short, will you come in and work 16 hrs?" It's insane, but its a job and it pays well so I'm staying.

School... The student loan process is making me crazy. I keep waiting for the consolidation to go thru so I can get more money and go back! Classes start in 10 days and I still don't know if I can go or not. It is going to come down to the wire. Of course, I can go if I want to pay out of pocket...but can I afford that with DJ laid off? /Sigh. Hmm, maybe work will call me in for a double soon. If not, hopefully my loans work and work fast... or I may not be able to start til June.

Kids- The girls have been playing outside everyday after school. It's good for them and for me. They run off their endless energy, get fresh air, have made a new friend w/ the girl whose family moved in across the street and I don't have to hear, when's dinner, 50 times before 4 p.m. :) Gabey is potty training and doing really well at it!

DJ and I are doing great. We went and spent the night in Cleveland on Monday for my birthday. We had a blast. <3>

Back Burner

I hear so many other post-ops talk about how once they are "x" amount of years out, food and diet takes a back burner in their lives and they don't eat, sleep, and drink WLS anymore. I can say that is sorta true for me, but really, I don't think I'll ever have a normal relationship with food. In fact, as the stress increases, I find myself pacing in the kitchen more. A bite here, a bite there... My weight is staying exactly the same, but I still feel out of control. Mostly b/c for the month of January I ate on plan, healthy and felt good. Now, back to work, it seems I have no time to plan, I just grab the first thing I see and eat it. At work, I drink a pot of coffee w/ a protein shake added in for creamer...Then home at 2 p.m. where I graze until dinner, which I pick at b/c I'm full from grazing... then from 6-8 I pick...a bite here, a bite there... fill the pouch, empty the pouch, repeat. Blah.
I'm not gaining weight. I'm not losing weight. I'm still 144, no matter what it seems. But I realize this way of eating will catch up to me eventually. So, I need a plan.
My head feels like I am on mental overload though. Work is so draining physically and mentally. I lost a resident this week, and then there is always on the job drama that is stressful... When I come home then I face the stress here... hoping and praying the kids are ok, the homework is getting done, the kids are making it to all their activities and not getting neglected in anyway by me being at work all the time. DJ is a great house dad, but the mom in me still worries and can't let go of that underlying feeling, that I'm still totally responsible for keeping the house up, even if he is the one home right now. I am constantly making lists and trying to make things easier on him. I plan out our dinners for the entire week, shop and have it laid out for him. I'm trying to juggle it all. So far I haven't dropped anything but every day I feel on edge...like one false move and the house cards will crash.
I'm trying very hard to keep up on my vitamins and I have new ones that will be here Tuesday. They are by the company multigenics and I feel more energy when I take those as opposed to a Centrum or something similar. I need them right now. I can't let my health suffer b/c of the busyness of my life right now.
So I guess that's my update.