Before!

6/28/08

Back to School

I have a meeting with admissions Monday at 3 p.m. I'm already accepted but now I have to get set up for testing and scheduling and a payment plan (can't forget, of course, this costs money.)

I'm excited and wondering how this will all pan out. I won't quit this time. I absolutely WILL NOT quit.

As a super morbidly obese person, I felt trapped. I KNOW I'm smart. I KNOW I'm talented and gifted and a good person, but I let a lot of that be hidden behind rolls of fat and walls built on insecurity. I was too afraid of rejection to go back to college. In fact, when I went back in 2002 after Abby was born, it was only after I had lost weight and was under 200 lbs. I didn't dare try to go when I was at my highest weight.

Why? Why did I allow myself to be in a prison?

I made other excuses.... I'm too busy, it's too hard, I have kids, I need to work, I can't find a babysitter...blah blah blah.... The real reason? I was afraid of rejection and I had no energy b/c I was overweight.

That was it. How sad??

In the last year, if nothing else, I have gained a strength that tells me that I can accomplish whatever I set out to accomplish. This surgery was THE hardest thing I've ever gone through but I made it! And I made it to the other side STRONGER. For me the weight was just that... a WEIGHT that held me back, held me down and kept me defeated.

Now, I'm light and free and on my way to do things I've always wanted to do but never had the courage. My future is bright.

5 comments:

Becky said...

Im so glad you posted this. This is one of my goals also and sadly Ive put it off for the same reason you have.

Good luck!! You will do great.

Meghan said...

Congrats on going back to school!! I swear I'm going to do a study on how obesity affects academics one day. :)

freedom2move said...

I know we don't know each other, that aside, I am very proud of you... Weird how I brag about you to my husband.. Very inspiring. encouraging.... Thank you~M~

PIECES OF ME said...

I know we don't knew each other, that said I am very proud of you... So much so that I brag about your amazing story to my husband. Which he thinks is weird that I brag about total strangers!Thanks for your post today...You encourage, and inspire me always!
~M~

Susy said...

There's your FREEDOM Amber! Congrats on going back to school and doing it for yourself. Great blog, loved this one. You my friend have came so far and I am proud of you. You have grown through all this and I'm happy I have you as support and our internet freindship.

Take care Amber! :)

Susy