Before!
11/30/08
Headaches
I am on my 4th day straight of a horrible migraine... Nothing is making it go away and now my sinuses are icky too. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow if I still have it. I am also going to blog pictures of my food intake tomorrow...Thanks Beth for the idea!
11/29/08
Odd Thanksgivings
So I am totally out of the habit of blogging and in a way I'm sad about that. I want to get back to it. Especially since I'm HOME...all the time... and there is only so much cleaning and laundry I can do in a day. For a long time I felt as if I shouldn't blog about anything that wasn't WLS related or something I couldn't tie into the "life after gastric bypass" theme. So what has that brought me? No posts. So from now on I'm blogging about my life... and trust me it will include all the stuff this blog always has, plus more.
So first let's talk about Thanksgiving.
Last Sunday we kicked it off at my Grams house. I weighed in that morning at 142. We ate. I was surprised actually at how much I could eat. (Though of course in the grand scheme of things...and compared to what I used to eat...it wasn't much....BUT for ME-- and my pouch/rearranged guts..it was more than I realized I could fit in there). Anyway... I felt pretty good and skipped dessert so I was A-OK. In fact, the next day I still weighed 142. Yay me.
Thursday was our next dinner and we actually had two that day. First my mom's house, then a brief stop off at his families dinner. At mom's, right when the meal was being served, I got hit with a migraine...(head exploding, temples pounding, gut wrenching headache) and ate barely anything, of which I promptly lost hanging over the toilet a few mins later. Ugh. Who gets sick on Thanksgiving?? Me. That's who. Oy.
I took some pills and tried to lay down before heading to DJ's families dinner but it was no use. The headache was there and making me quite nauseous. Once we got to his grandpa's house I picked at a plate of food...actually tried to eat twice but eh, I was pretty much over it.
It was a very odd holiday, for several reasons actually.
My little brother is at boot camp and my other brother was 3 hrs. late getting to Mom's for dinner. So I saw none of my siblings that day. When we arrived at DJ's grandpa's, his grandpa got a call that is mom had just died. Not to mention that half of his family didn't even show up at all b/c of drama brewing..ugh...and then my pukefest/headache....It was just a weird day.
Oh and Friday, I weighed 142. :D
Speaking of Friday... I got up and shopped. I found a few things but nothing I couldn't have gotten another day. It was still fun though.
So first let's talk about Thanksgiving.
Last Sunday we kicked it off at my Grams house. I weighed in that morning at 142. We ate. I was surprised actually at how much I could eat. (Though of course in the grand scheme of things...and compared to what I used to eat...it wasn't much....BUT for ME-- and my pouch/rearranged guts..it was more than I realized I could fit in there). Anyway... I felt pretty good and skipped dessert so I was A-OK. In fact, the next day I still weighed 142. Yay me.
Thursday was our next dinner and we actually had two that day. First my mom's house, then a brief stop off at his families dinner. At mom's, right when the meal was being served, I got hit with a migraine...(head exploding, temples pounding, gut wrenching headache) and ate barely anything, of which I promptly lost hanging over the toilet a few mins later. Ugh. Who gets sick on Thanksgiving?? Me. That's who. Oy.
I took some pills and tried to lay down before heading to DJ's families dinner but it was no use. The headache was there and making me quite nauseous. Once we got to his grandpa's house I picked at a plate of food...actually tried to eat twice but eh, I was pretty much over it.
It was a very odd holiday, for several reasons actually.
My little brother is at boot camp and my other brother was 3 hrs. late getting to Mom's for dinner. So I saw none of my siblings that day. When we arrived at DJ's grandpa's, his grandpa got a call that is mom had just died. Not to mention that half of his family didn't even show up at all b/c of drama brewing..ugh...and then my pukefest/headache....It was just a weird day.
Oh and Friday, I weighed 142. :D
Speaking of Friday... I got up and shopped. I found a few things but nothing I couldn't have gotten another day. It was still fun though.
11/19/08
P.S.
Read the post before this one first!!!
Btw, my weight started creeping up w/ the pain killers and the broken arm and the inactivity and the snacking... I was 148 lbs. (gain of 16 from my lowest!! eek!) BUT I re-evaluated and am back on track. 145 this morning...and plan on trying to stay between 135-145. 132 was too thin. :)
Btw, my weight started creeping up w/ the pain killers and the broken arm and the inactivity and the snacking... I was 148 lbs. (gain of 16 from my lowest!! eek!) BUT I re-evaluated and am back on track. 145 this morning...and plan on trying to stay between 135-145. 132 was too thin. :)
This is hard...
I have sat down here to write a blog for you all many, many times...but I sat and stares blankly at the screen. No words came. The blog slump started when I broke my arm...no I guess it was before that...When I couldn't talk in my public blog about things that weren't so public. Then the broken arm meant I couldn't type anyway...
Now here I am a few months later...with not much to say. I've made a few videos updating things (link in the sidebar) but actual blogging just hasn't happened.
For one thing my weight is becoming a non-issue. When I just eat normally and don't obsess (and stay out of the candy cupboard...I know, I know why is there even a candy cupboard...I digress) anyway, when I stay out of said cupboard I have no weight issues...at all. Wow...how is that even possible after all these years? I've always had weight issues! But, guess what? I don't anymore.
But wait (always the but wait...)
There are still issues with my weight. I don't weigh 277 lbs physically anymore, but some days I feel just as big. I don't eat an entire pizza alone anymore, but sometimes I overeat. I don't punch myself in the stomach anymore b/c I hate me and my fat gut that much...but there are times when I am not kind enough to me. There are days when I look at the scale and feel like 145, or 132 or 143 lbs. isn't "good enough"...and days when I feel like a blimp and blame the dryer for "shrinking" my jeans.
But then, there are days when I run laps around my kids playing outside, and days I accomplish a million tasks b/c I don't have to rest in between, I run up and down stairs and don't look for the closest parking spot. I find cute clothes in normal sizes, and sleep without my chest fat cutting off my air supply.
And on most days I realize that everything has been for a reason, and I am happy and healthy and that is what is important.
And so I'll live with my issues, and I'll take each day as it comes, knowing that right now, in this moment I am the best Amber I have ever been, and tomorrow I'll be even better!
Now here I am a few months later...with not much to say. I've made a few videos updating things (link in the sidebar) but actual blogging just hasn't happened.
For one thing my weight is becoming a non-issue. When I just eat normally and don't obsess (and stay out of the candy cupboard...I know, I know why is there even a candy cupboard...I digress) anyway, when I stay out of said cupboard I have no weight issues...at all. Wow...how is that even possible after all these years? I've always had weight issues! But, guess what? I don't anymore.
But wait (always the but wait...)
There are still issues with my weight. I don't weigh 277 lbs physically anymore, but some days I feel just as big. I don't eat an entire pizza alone anymore, but sometimes I overeat. I don't punch myself in the stomach anymore b/c I hate me and my fat gut that much...but there are times when I am not kind enough to me. There are days when I look at the scale and feel like 145, or 132 or 143 lbs. isn't "good enough"...and days when I feel like a blimp and blame the dryer for "shrinking" my jeans.
But then, there are days when I run laps around my kids playing outside, and days I accomplish a million tasks b/c I don't have to rest in between, I run up and down stairs and don't look for the closest parking spot. I find cute clothes in normal sizes, and sleep without my chest fat cutting off my air supply.
And on most days I realize that everything has been for a reason, and I am happy and healthy and that is what is important.
And so I'll live with my issues, and I'll take each day as it comes, knowing that right now, in this moment I am the best Amber I have ever been, and tomorrow I'll be even better!
11/11/08
So what now...
I've lost all the weight I'm going to lose.
DJ and I worked out all of our problems.
I passed my kidney stones.
My arm is pretty much healed and after a few more weeks of therapy will be pretty close to perfect again.
So what now?
Maintenance.
Keep the weight off.
Keep the relationship thriving.
Stay healthy.
Easier said than done.
Me today:
DJ and I worked out all of our problems.
I passed my kidney stones.
My arm is pretty much healed and after a few more weeks of therapy will be pretty close to perfect again.
So what now?
Maintenance.
Keep the weight off.
Keep the relationship thriving.
Stay healthy.
Easier said than done.
Me today:
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