Almost two years post op....

In 5 days I will be 2 years post op from my lap RNY. I have maintained my weight pretty well for the last year and feel great. :) There is so much going on in life right now... and it's hard for me to get here to update a lot but I want all of my readers to know that I appreciate all the love and support you've given me over the last two years. This blog was a place of refuge and comfort many times during all those early changes. You listened to my ups and downs and offered support and no judgement. It was refreshing and therapeutic to come here daily and just spill my guts to open arms and listening ears, when in real life, so often we are surrounded my critics and haters. For that I am grateful. I feel like I have abandoned his blog and yet, it seems to be part of the process, as I've watched many post oper's end up in this very place. When I first came into this community of WLSers online, I was hopeless, helpless, alone and wondering if this last ditch effort at weight loss would even actually work for me. I spent endless hours looking at before and after pics, reading blogs, articles, searching for websites, information, anything.... wondering if it would work for me, as it had for them. I started blogging. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't hold back. That I would allow you all to see inside my soul... to see the real Amber, for better or worse, and let you all observe the change that I would go through, without reservation. I shared feelings and thoughts here, that I would never allow anyone in my day to day life to know about me. I posted unflattering before pics, starting weights, and my truest, honest feelings and you all embraced me. Now, two years later, here I am. At that place where so many of us find ourselves. The scale has stopped moving.... I've settled into a pattern and there isn't much to blog about. I weigh 140-145 most days. Some days I eat 1800 calories... other days I eat 1000 calories. Eating the right foods and making good choices is a struggle sometimes, but there is a built in governor and I don't binge like I used to. When I eat crap I suffer and so that is a good deterant. Healthwise I'm having some issues, but non-RNY related for the most part. I've been wearing a holter monitor for 3 weeks now b/c my doc thinks I may have A Fib. Very scary and I don't know much about it yet. I will know more when the results are in and I will be sure to update you all. I started school last week and it's going well, but keeping me super busy. I am also still working and DJ is still laid off, so we are learing a new balance in the house and I am trying hard to stay positive. It's hard to be away so much from the kids, and I am dealing with a lot of guilt. I know in the long run, its for them, but for now I won't lie. It sucks. I guess this is enough for now. See? I've become (or maybe I've always been... lol) boring. Here are a few pics from our weekend in PA: