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5/5/07

March 2007- part 1

IT'S BEEN SUBMITTED! [Edit Post]on March 5, 2007 2:18 pmPublished
And so now... I wait some more!! HAHAHA!! Now I get to drive myself batty worrying about whether they'll approve me or not! lol I think mentally the wait does serve a purpose although I haven't decided if it's good or bad. I am trying to keep busy w/ work and my family so I don't think about it too much, but sometimes my thoughts over take me and I can't help but sit and think about how things are going to change and how much I hope it's for the better. While driving, I imagine how great it will be when I will be able to drive with out my stomach nearly touching the steeringwheel. While taking a shower I think about the changes I'm going to see in my body. While taking care of the kids, I think about what a better mommy I'm going to be. When I'm getting up and down off the couch, going upstairs, cleaning, working, laying in bed, and cooking, I am always thinking about how things are going to change. It is exciting and scary all at once. People say that WLS doesn't fix all of your problems, but I must say I know it's going to make life a whole lot easier in general. By the time, Gabe is 2 I'll be able to take him to the park, to the beach... to anywhere and I'll be able to keep up!!We are planning a trip to Disney World in the summer of 2008. I want to be at goal by then. I know I can. I want to ride every ride...wear a bathing suit...walk all day and not get tired or winded. I want to run and play. I will be free of this FAT by then!!!! I can't wait!!!

ugh [Edit Post]on March 3, 2007 2:10 pmPublished
Still no word.

well... [Edit Post]on March 1, 2007 9:42 amPublished
I talked to LaTonya yesterday...she got the ok from the surgeon's psychologist and now she really has EVERYTHING she needs and says she will FAX it to my insurance company today or tomorrow. I had to hold back from BEGGING her to JUST DO IT!!!! It looks like I'll end up w/ an April date at this point. On the weight front... I was still 265 this a.m....but am ON PLAN today...trying to lowcarb so I can get back down to 255 at least, since we aren't supposed to be gaining anything while waiting. I had 1 scrambled egg, 3 sausage patties and 2 oz of cheese for breakfast. Now I'm chugging black coffee. I have the WORST headache ever, but I'm not going to stop. I am huge. Seriously. I'm only 5 ft 1 in and I am really starting to "feel" this weight. I'm miserable. I took a shower this morning and kept dropping stuff and it was almost impossible to bend down and pick the stuff up w/o my headache pounding and making me feeling like I was going to fall over. That is discusting. To let myself get this far. I can't go up and down stairs anymore without getting so winded. I can't hide it anymore either. It used to be that when I'd get winded like that, I could hide it. I'd hold my breath for a minute then breath really slow and as quiet as possible until my heart stopped beating out of my chest. Now I can't do that. I just have to hold on to something, and huff and puff and wait. This is NOT how my life was supposed to be. I'm only 28! I have kids I want to run and play with!!WLS is going to be the greatest tool ever!! I WILL get this weight off and I will weigh 120 lbs!!!!

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