awakening

There is an end to the rope.

For so long, years even, since childhood... I've lived in the, "If I could only... then I'd be happy" lie. Here I sit and I've accomplished all those "if only's" and the pain is still there, deeper than ever. This is a scary place to be. A place without hope. A place filled with pain. I can't see, I can't feel and yet I hurt more deeply than ever. I'm just breathing in and out. In. Out. In.....Out.....