There are things going on right now that I just can't blog about yet. I really wish I could. I wish I could just let the words flow out of my fingers and on to the page. I know it would be cleansing just to get it out. But I can't.
Morning time used to be my favorite time of day. When the day is fresh and just beginning...I always loved the verse about his mercies being new every morning...and just that overall feeling of a new day. Now, that feeling is gone. DJ comes in from working 3rd. I keep myself busy w/ house work while he piddles around getting food or watching tv. He used to come in and jump right on his xbox for a few hours and I would get the house picked up and plan my day. Little did I know... my little perfect looking life, was a lie.
I know I'm not making sense. I'm sorry. I'm still trying to process so many thoughts, feelings, emotions...Everything I thought was true has been shaken and my foundations have crumbled.
My weight is staying down. Mostly b/c I can't eat very well. The braces were tightened this week too on top of everything too so "sigh"...not much food going in. Trying to keep shakes down though at least. How sad that I've come so far and feel so much better physically, but can't even enjoy it at this point b/c of all the other craziness going on.
I'm sorry I can't be more upbeat right now. It sucks that my life is where it is right now. I wish I knew the way out of this nightmare or even how to get over what has happened.
Time heals all wounds? I sure hope so. I'm waiting.