Before!

8/29/08

Blogger Slump

There are things going on right now that I just can't blog about yet. I really wish I could. I wish I could just let the words flow out of my fingers and on to the page. I know it would be cleansing just to get it out. But I can't.

Morning time used to be my favorite time of day. When the day is fresh and just beginning...I always loved the verse about his mercies being new every morning...and just that overall feeling of a new day. Now, that feeling is gone. DJ comes in from working 3rd. I keep myself busy w/ house work while he piddles around getting food or watching tv. He used to come in and jump right on his xbox for a few hours and I would get the house picked up and plan my day. Little did I know... my little perfect looking life, was a lie.

I know I'm not making sense. I'm sorry. I'm still trying to process so many thoughts, feelings, emotions...Everything I thought was true has been shaken and my foundations have crumbled.

My weight is staying down. Mostly b/c I can't eat very well. The braces were tightened this week too on top of everything too so "sigh"...not much food going in. Trying to keep shakes down though at least. How sad that I've come so far and feel so much better physically, but can't even enjoy it at this point b/c of all the other craziness going on.

I'm sorry I can't be more upbeat right now. It sucks that my life is where it is right now. I wish I knew the way out of this nightmare or even how to get over what has happened.

Time heals all wounds? I sure hope so. I'm waiting.

7 comments:

Susy said...

Amber-

Take the time you need for yourself. I'm sorry your hurting. I'm just glad there was a post so I know your ok. Even though we have never met, I would say your my friend, so I worry and wonder about you. Take care of your self and if you want to talk you know how to find me!

HUGS to you.

Michelle said...

Good luck to you girl, whatever is on your plate it will work itself out in time. Time heals, I'm going through that myself....hugs to you I hope you can make some good resolutions soon!

Sassafrass said...

thinking of you and wishing you strength and peace.
hugs....

Anonymous said...

In the end, no matter what happens, the Lord has a plan for you. The plan may not be what you wanted or make much sense, but in the end, you will see why things happed the way they did. Still doesn't make it easy while it's happening...thinking of you daily! your frind, Nancy

~Pansy~ said...

just wanted you to know that you are stronger than you think and that im praying for you.. when life throws us a curve its so hard to figure out what to do with it.. but take advice from a baseball player.. when the pitch changes up.. change ur batting stance to make up for it.. and knock it out the park!!!

Anonymous said...

I know we don't know each other, but your struggles have touched my heart. I have been praying for you every day. Take care of your health, do your best to get your protein and vitamins in. Thinking of you!!

Prayers for you,
Mary in TN

pr1ncessd1 said...

Amber, please know I love you and that you're in my thoughts and prayers. I've been down a bumpy road too....I trust in God to help me through....."Let go, let God"....I try to live by this and remind myself when my world seems out of control. Big hugs to you sweet friend.