I'm not afraid.

It's ok guys. I'm not going anywhere. :) This is me. And you're right Danyele I need to own my feelings.

So there. Step 1. I'm not leaving and I'm not deleting. I'm here and I'm staying. :D

The last 6 months of my life have been tough. I have gone through some major changes, even aside from the WLS. I was betrayed by friends and family, lied on and ignored. Through it all, I realized these people were only using me anyway and that I was better off with out them. I also realized that because of the break in that relationship, a sort of domino effect began that did directly lead me to have gastric bypass, among other things.

These were people I trusted and cared about would've done just about anything for. In the end, I was disposable to them and that hurt. Yet, in that I realized that I was letting them control my life, my opinions, the way I felt about things. Just wanting to be accepted and belong, allowed me to become prisioner.

I am thankful I am free from that garbage and will NEVER let anyone have that control over me again. In fact, I specifically remember these people telling me that if I had WLS I was sinning and taking the easy way out. What an idiot I was to believe that crap!!

So now I sit here and I'm 26 days post op, down 23 lbs. and it has finally dawned on me why people try to keep others pushed down. It is to make themselves feel better! It's not b/c they really care about you or what happens to you!!

People didn't want me to have surgery b/c they were comfortable with me being fat. It made them feel better. They were jealous of my talent, my abilities and my life. They had to have something to make them feel superior.

Well... guess what. I win. :)

I will stay here and I will write. I will tell what I really think. I will own my feelings. I won't be ashamed or scared. I will tell it like it is. :)

My lord, that feels good.