Mother's Day recap

I woke up around 7:30, hopped on the scale and was happy to see 250 lbs. staring back at me. After a cup of coffee, and a shower for all of us we were out the door and at church by 10. They had a nice service and all the mom's recieved a little plastic carton of flowers. I'm sure there is a name for these... I know a big tray of them is called a flat.... anyway... After that we headed out to dinner with my parents and grandparents.

Now in my "Wake up people" entry, you will see I was very annoyed with them even asking us to go, but I suppose I was being a bit rediculous. At any rate, we went and they had a very very moist turkey breast, mashed potatoes and gravy and steamed green beans and carrots. I ordered 3 child size portions. One for Hannah, one for Abby and one for me. The woman then asked what I was eating. LOL

The whole meal went down great and I chewed and chewed that turkey til it was puree in my mouth and had no problems. In fact, with all that chewing I finished after everyone else. That helped to ease my anxiety of eating in public, thank goodness.

We had a nice time, then headed home for a nap. At around 5, we had to go to DJ's sisters. She had made bbq chicken, potatoes, salad, baked beans and cake. I brought refried beans with me and then mashed up some of the potatoes and once again ate well. No problems at all.

All in all, it was great day. The kids got me flowers and made the most precious cards. I loved every minute of it.

I am on soft foods now! :) Cottage cheese for breakfast...I really have no appetite though. This stupid cold is kicking my tail right now.

OH!! I almost forgot. I had the best conversation with my MIL yesterday too. She had the surgery 5 years ago this June. She started around 255 lbs and I would guess is under 120 right now. She's only 5'.

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So.. back to yesterday... DJ's mom and I ended up out on the front porch with the girls yesterday and she finally asked how I was doing. I said good and then the conversation just went from there. Like I said she is 5 yrs out and doing well weigh wise, BUT she is suffering from major depression (which sort of explains why she hasn't been around for anyone), she has Fibromyalga, arthritis and who knows what else. None of this is from the surgery she and her doctors claim. At any rate she is a mess. She said she doesn't regret the surgery at all though, in fact she still want PS. She did have the tummy tuck a couple years ago but still wants her legs, arms and boobs done. She looks good to me now, but of course, I don't see her naked. LOL

I told her about a few things that I've been struggling with and she said it's all normal but most post ops, once they are further out, forget how hard those first days are. I had to agree. A lot of post ops just say, "Oh it gets better" and I know that it does, but I'm living today and this pain or frustration or whatever the issue, is real for me right now and my feelings are valid for this moment in time.

I have noticed this a lot on post op message boards and blogs...People basically say, "Snap out of it" or they just blow you off b/c they are living the "after life" and forget about those first few weeks and how tough they really are.

My cousin had a baby a few months after me and I remember in her 9th month I got so annoyed with her calling me and complaining about how ready she was to have that baby and how she couldn't stand being pregnant another day, totally forgetting that only a few months before that I was doing the SAME THING!! It was easy for me then b/c I had my baby in my arms, and the swelling was gone and I could sleep on my stomach, and move with out my hips grinding together. I didn't have heartburn anymore or the urge to pee every 10 seconds. In my mind, I knew things would be ok for her too in a few weeks, but that wasn't where she was that day!

Now I can chew again and have soft foods and already I can feel myself forgetting how bad the liquid diet sucked! I am already forgetting the pain of those early post op days, and how difficult the mental battle was. As time passes, it will only fade more and more, but I want to be aware of other people's feelings. Just as my thoughts, struggles and feelings are real and valid, so are other peoples.

I don't ever want to be one of those post ops who forget where I came from and make new post ops feeling like they aren't "tough enough" or that they are weak. This surgery isn't for the faint of heart and I dare anyone to say I'm not strong. I have had struggles, I have had people say and do things that got on my nerves, but that doesn't make me any less of a person in this weight loss battle than the person that sits at goal today. I'm just a few steps behind on the same journey.