Lost Links

We bought a new computer b/c the old one got some sort of virus and kept shutting itself off. Now I've lost all of my old bookmark. Whine! If anyone here is reading from Circle of Friends, please email me w/ the link! Or somehow let me know how to get back there!! :( I want back in so badly!

In other news, Hannah has been having trouble on the school bus. She came home Friday and fell into a sobbing heap on the floor after getting into an argument w/ 2 6th grade boys and a 4th grade girl. She is only in 2nd and this had my blood boiling. What it came down to was that her bff P. was told by 4th grade girl M that she wasn't allowed to be friends w/ Hannah anymore. This had been going on for a few weeks and I had sort of stepped back to see how it would work itself out. I know how catty girls can be and sometimes they can work it out and will hate each one day, but be bff's the next. Friday was a bad thing though. She said that M had started saying stuf to another friend J and that Hannah stuck up for her, which in turn turned the teasing to her. She said they called her names, made fun of her eyebrows and hair and skin color. She was crushed and scared. The 2 6th grade boys jumped in I guess jsut b/c that's what boys do. With the 3 day weekend, it being Friday around 4 when she got home, today was the first day I would've been able to speak to the principal or bus super anyway. This morning though she begged me not to call b/c she didn't want to get in trouble too for things she had said. So... at any rate, I have no idea what to do. Right now I'm planning on calling P's mom just to see if she knows anything. M is their neighbor and I figure she may have some insight that I do not since I don't know any of these older kids. Ugh. Parenting is so hard at times.

Hannah is worrying about her weight, and her looks already as it is. I knew we'd have some extra issues, given her ethnic background, and the fact that she now has two very white parents raising her. At any rate, I have no idea where to start in order to help build her self confidence. Especially with these outside influences. I continually tell her she is beautiful and Ok, but I don't think that is enough.

She is 110 lbs. now in 2nd grade and though she is the tallest one in her class, I know she's pudgy. She likes to eat, as did I at that age and that scares me even more. I dont want to see her head down the MO road I took.

When I was young though, I constantly felt horrible about myself and my weight and my mom's comments to me... "Don't eat that". "You aren't really hungry"... (yes, Mom I really was!) and "You don't want to be fat, do you?"

I don't want to deal with her issues, the way my mom dealt with mine, but how do you deal with it and not make her feel like she isn't enough as a person? I dunno.

She knows she needs to lose weight or at least maintain. She's been consistantly gaining at least 10 lbs a year for the last few years. At this rate, she'll be 180 by the time she gets into high school and could be over 200 by graduation. I don't want that for her. But can I stop it?

For one thing, I know that eating lunches at school are not helping her. That is my fault. It's so much easier, not to mention cheaper, to just send her w/ lunch money than it is to pack a lunch everyday. I take responsibility for that. I also take responsiblity for buying junk food. I would be a liar if I didn't admit to the Oreo's in the cupboard, or the chips on the counter. I do limit her when she is home though and do not allow mindless eating. Packing her lunches daily would be a good start.

She is active, as much as she can be in the middle of winter. She plays basketball on Mondays and Saturdays and also has gym class at school 3 times a week. She has asked to start using the tredmill and DJ talked about moving it upstairs where it is more accessable than in it is in it's current spot in the dark, cold basement.

It's a start and I hope it's enough.

She got a cute hair cut last night. It started as a disaster but by the end of the night had turned into a good thing for her.

Her hair is thick and curly and was too long. I was having fits trying to keep the tangles out and as she was getting ready for bbal practice I decided I couldnt' stand it anymore. I took a pair of scissors and chop! It boinged back up as curly hair does and was way way too short. I panicked and cut the rest off at the same length which only made matters worse. Ugh.

We jumped in the car and off to the salon we went. Why on earth I tried to cut it myself, I'll never know. I do those dumb sort of things occasionally. I'm like that.

She ended up though w/ the most adorable little bob. When we came home I straightened it w/ a flat iron and she was in love. I was so relieved. After the teasing incedent on Friday, I could just see the poodle comments that would come today if I didn't something to fix it.

Thank God we ended up w/ a very cute cut and she felt wonderful in it, especially since it was now straight.

I figure until it grows out a bit we'll be straightening it quite often and that's ok. Anything to make her feel good. :)

Now, if we can just get this weight issue under control all will be well with her.


Amber said...

Maybe you should try and do an exercise night a couple times a week with your daughter. Maybe take up tennis or something (when it gets warmer obviously). Do you have an indoor pool where you live? That would be something too, plus it'd give her special time with you. You sound like a wonderful monther. You will figure things out. My daughter is 2 1/2 so reading your blog just makes me realize what I'll be faced with eventually. Good luck. Glad to read that you and your hubby are addressing issues too. Mine teased me that he wanted a contract that I wouldn't leave after I lost all my weight. So just tell your husband he's not the only husband to be concerned or worried about losing a thinner wife.

Anonymous said...

Mt dd is 12 and is overweight enough to require the plus size girls jeans. I did just as you did with your daughter, we talk openly about health, not weight. We talk bout heart healthy choices, and we do not put any food off limits. Since she was about 10 or so, if we have a high calorie treat or dessert, we go for a walk or a bike ride or do something to burn it off. We do it together whenever possible, to make it fun! It is never viewed as a punishment, just something you do to burn off the cake! She has maintained her weight for the past year, and she is a bit over 5' tall. Give her time to grow, and keep her active, she will be fine! Thankfully you are knowledgable and willing to take an active part in her future health!

Mary in TN

Kim said...

Looking good girl! Here is the ling to COF.