12 days

It's been 12 days since I blogged last. There have been many tears, some smiles, several sleepless nights, a few panic attacks, and hours of soul searching. I've been unable to put into words what I've felt, then at other times, been overwhelmed with what spilled out of my lips.

I attended church yesterday. Some old friends were in town and so we went ahead and went. He spoke about the story of Naaman. He was a leaper and a high ranking army general at the same time. Here was this man, valiant and strong, successful in his endevors...winning victory after victory and yet, he had one thing....You know that ONE THING that stops you. That one thorn in your side. That thing that you desperately wish you could rid yourself of, and yet there it is, day in and day out...

So the story goes, that Naaman went to the prophet Elisha and was told to dip in the Jordan river 7 times and he would be clean. It seemed like a goofy thing to do, but he was desperate to rid himself of this horrible ONE THING.

Can you imagine if he would've stopped after only dipping 3 times, or 5 times, or even 6 times?

He would've remained a leaper.

It took all 7 times. He had to finish what he started. He had to stick it out....

I had a thought too, beyond what the minister had said. I'm sure getting in that water was painful... Open sores and water do not mix. Can you imagine the pain he must've been dipping in that water?

The first time under water and I'm sure his skin was on fire...and upon each dip, the pain worsened....but he had faith that on that 7th time, his pain would be gone.

It says that when he came up out of the water on the 7th time, he was whole, and his skin was a like a newborn babies.

I'm in the water. I'm dipping...It burns. The pain is so intense, but I have faith, that if I don't give up, I'm going to be whole. I've come to far to give up now... and I certainly didn't endure the hurt of the first, second, even fifth dip to stop now. I may be dipping down for the sixth time right now.... My breakthrough may be right around the corner.

I'm not giving up. I'm going down for another dip....