24 hours later

I already feel better. One day of clean eating and I lost 3 lbs. (of water and overall puffiness). Ah. Now, one foot in front of the other, I keep going.
We are going to a waterpark/hotel tonight. DJ's work offered them a "getaway" package at a huge discount and so we are heading out in a few hours. I also need to exchange an outfit that I got for Christmas. I got one of those cute fur hoodies from Aero, but it's about 5 inches from zipping in the front. /Sigh. Stupid junior sizing. LOL
I hate that I had to post such a dower post yesterday and now I'm tempted to delete it, but I won't. It's real. I guess I hope people aren't judging me and thinking I'm a failure already. I already feel it in real life. When I walk in a room, I feel everyones eyes on me...gauging if I'm bigger, the same, or smaller than I was when they last saw me. I know people do this. They are all sitting back waiting for me to gain all the weight back like I have every other time. That's not to say that they want me to fail. I actually think they do want me to be successful, BUT I also think they are waiting and watching, to see if this thing is going to work long term.
Anyone that has yo yo dieted knows exactly what I am talking about. I am not going to let that happen. 150 lbs is my barrier. I won't go over that. I just won't. I saw it yesterday, took matters back into my own hands, and bam, I'm down to 147 today. I plan on being back to my "comfort zone" of 138-142 in a few weeks.
Thank God for RNY. Thank God for making this thing manageable. Losing 10 lbs. is so much easier than losing 150 lbs. I will not forfiet this great oppurtunity I've been given. I have my tool. I have the knowledge. I have the determination.
So, people in real life, famiy, friends, blog readers, vlog away. You're going to watch me succeed. :)


Susy said...

don't delete's real!

Don't beat yourself up anymore Amber.

And for everyone watching and waiting for our weight gains...SUCKS Your right-there watching...people can be sabotuers. Sad but true. Don't think twice about them. Focus on your health and your happiness. You and your family is all that matters.

Hope you have lots of smiles on your short get away.


Name: Lynise said...

well i wanted to post a comment because i just felt it was important you realise just how much your 'real' posts are appreciated.

(all your posts are appreciated) but often in blogland we probably get a little worried about posting anything that may come across as a 'hic up' or remind us of our own humaness and how easy it is for us to screw up (rny or without).

Writing such an honest post is important as it puts the very real stuff out there as being what happens, rather then having people believe that life is perfect and there simply are no difficulties after any type of WLS.

I can understand how allowing others to see anything we feel is too real can make us feel vunerable and perhaps expose us to judgment that we simply don't need, but why do these people opinion matter anyway? I believe as woman we often worry far to much about what others think about us, when all that REALLY matters is how we feel about ourselves.

When we are feeling great about ourselves other peoples opinions no longer matter that much anyway. Oprah (my hero) often talks about living a true and authentic life and after almost 40 years of being on the planent I am slowly starting to realise the importance of being true to myself.

So thank you so much for sharing the good AND things you feel are not so good.

Take care. I love your 'realness' don't change a thing, you are just awesome.

Lynise (New Zealand)