Thoughts to other RNYers...

This was a post I "almost" put up on a message board I go to, but I didnt' want to hurt anyones feelings or start drama so I'll just post it here...

...All I am saying to everyone in this thread is that this is a struggle and its hard. Food demons are real and hard to beat. Sometimes at night it's all I can do to not go in the kitchen and graze from 7 p.m.-9 p.m. I literally feel hunger pangs (head hunger manifesting?) and have to almost sit on my hands so I don't go and eat empty pointless calories. But we have to do this. One day, one hour, one moment at a time. One right choice after another. Making good habits.
I'm not saying you can never have a cheeseburger again, but I certainly would hope that it isn't on a normal menu sample as something that you even eat weekly. I remember eating 3 french fries when I was about a year post op and they felt thick in my throat, got stuck and made me ill. Now, at almost 2 years out I can eat a small order. By next year I'll bet I can eat a medium order, which means there will be a day when I could probably eat a value meal w/ fries and a drink again. BUT, if I eat that just b/c I can...I'm going to end up back at 277 lbs. That is how I got there in the first place. So, what is the answer? Not totally relying on restriction b/c that will go away with time, but instead relying on good choices!! Relying on good habits that I formed in the honeymoon stage.
I have a saying on my's simple, but has gotten me thru some rough moments..

"I can't eat anything I want to... no one can."
What that means is, surgery or no surgery, people, if health is their goal, cannot eat anything they want to. So, I shouldn't feel deprived or upset. I should realize that I am no different than anyone else that is a healthy person. When I ate whatever my body craved, I paid a high price...weight gain, sore muscles, health problems, a shortened life span....

I hope I don't sound high and mighty in this thread. I don't intend to. Anyone who reads my blog or watches my videos knows my struggles. At the same time, I am further out than a lot of us here, and I have experienced things that you guys haven't yet. I didn't want to believe it during my honeymoon phase either... I didn't want to believe that my new pouch wouldn't always restrict me and keep me in my caloric parameters w/o very much effort on my part... I didn't want to believe that eventually the fat would stop melting off... I didn't want to believe I could actually regain weight so soon. I wanted to close my ears to "protein first, lots of water, and exercise" as being the key long term. In the first year some slight indescresions don't seem to make much difference on the scale. Trust me, after 18 months they show. And they show fast.


Susy said...

Bravo to you Amber! You right on and I feel your pain. Never look away again. You see it and your doing something about it today. Your not looking away. I won't lie to myself ever again and tell my jeans are getting tighter cause of the dryer. I looked away for too many years. We did not take the easy way out and for us it will always be a battle. I can't even keep the crap in the house cause I dont trust myself. I even got mad at my family a few weeks ago because they brought home ice cream. Crazy... You will win and I believe in you! You are a winner Amber and a kind person. Keep sharing the real truth and it will keep you accountable and will help others with the same battles...

Love ya!


Mary said...

Amber I am so glad you posted this. I have been grazing non-stop for two weeks. I have gained a total of almost twenty pounds. I am the first one to spout off the "protein first, water and exercise" rule, but I don't even follow it for myself.

Every year, I am going to make a resolution to keep myself at a healthy weight. My first goal is to lose the 20, my next goal is to keep it off. I'm almost 4 years out.

Thank you for the inspiration. You've been through so much lately, it strengthens me to see you pick up and chug forward.
Mary in TN